Cuando

With each passing year I feel as though I become more and more me. Time slowly peels away layers, not like an onion, but rather a lovely orange clementine, made more fragrant with each strip of peel revealing a hidden segment.  

The unnerving thing about the passage of time is exactly that, it passes.How is it that I am in my third year of college already? As I look back I ponder what I have to show for it, and I'll tell you exactly what that is right at this very moment, relationships. People who love me, and people whom I love.


So much happened over the course of this past year, nothing earth shattering, just the enjoyment of daily life, living in wonderful community at school and coming home to family. This past year...

I had fun. I even danced.

I took my first spring break trip with friends, to B.C. 

I further tuned into my appreciation for natural beauty by observing it often.

My brother graduated from high school!

I spent quality time with friends.

I took many a summer walk with my sister, and watched countless sunsets.

I said goodbye to lower lid eyeliner.

I celebrated the marriages of housemates (this being the first of three).

I turned 21. I did not do a pub crawl up the Ave.

I watched my brother tear it up as a Freshman.

My hair grew longer. I also won best costume as Pippi Longstocking.

I was in the most beautiful wedding.

I discovered my love of cooking and baking. 

This coming year I want joy to radiate from my soul. I will love God, myself and people. I want to live each day fully. I will keep pursuing things that I love, and I want to travel. Stay tuned.

Sweep Me Away

High-pitched rustlings. Low rumblings. The rise and fall of light breezes that suddenly surge aggressively. Shrubbery bending to unnatural angles. The sky: bright blue to the north and smoky-gray to the south. A setting sun. Whitecaps. Sand stirred in shallow waters creating milky latte hues. Standing with my eyes closed and arms wide, letting the wind move me as it wishes. My red mane shooting out behind me and then enclosing my face. No words can do justice to my feelings of delight and thrill that come with a good windstorm.  

Pierce My Soul

The words of Captain Frederick Wentworth never fail to give me chills. What beauty! What poetry! I have watched Persuasion three times in three weeks, and I am by no means ashamed of that. My heart has always reached out to Anne Elliot, as I have firmly believed that I will not find love until I am thirty. I can only pray I will be as lucky as she. To be swept off my feet by a gentleman who truly perceives and treasures my soul.

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in

F.W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.

Aaaaaand It's Gone

Every year it's the same, so why am I surprised? Two months of anticipation filled with gaiety and festivities, ending the moment you wake from post-Christmas slumber and realize it's December 26. Did someone just pop a balloon half an inch from my face? We're approaching the dead of winter, and in a week the hallways will be filled with the nerve-grating squeaks of students' wet rubber soles against linoleum and polished cement. Everything is cold and gray. What then do we have to look forward to? 

My dearests, it is solely up to us to decide the fate of our happiness. As a long and white-bearded, half moon-spectacled friend once told me, "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." Happiness is a choice, as 10% of life is what happens to you and 90% is how you deal with it. Let us make the merriment last through the year. In a month or so you probably won't be having the sale of coffee that is heavily laced with peppermint and eggnog splashed in your face, and lights and greenery will cease to adorn shops and houses. Yet take heart that the source of our joy is eternal. 

Kendi

Kendi Everyday inspires me. She's fun and sassy. She wears lipstick. She wears heels and wedges...like, errrday. She mixes and matches like nobody's business. She shops at J. Crew, Anthropologie and Gap. Nuf said. 

Dark Blue

My dear man, let me remind you that sunshine does not suggest warmth in December. It's positively glacial outside. May I ask if you have lost your mind? I'm quite certain you've at least lost feeling in your toes and fingers. I don't know whether to question your sanity or salute you for your bravery. Any way you slice it you're living out my daydreams, only two seasons removed. Sail on, my friend, sail on.

Holly, Jolly

I think I'm making a pretty valiant effort here. My Christmas shopping is complete. I'm watching Christmas movies. I've decorated a gingerbread house and eaten some necessary festive treats in moderation. I've attended holiday parties and see a couple more in my very near future. My family is planning various Christmassy outings. I listen to jovial tunes every chance I get. Why is it then that I'm struggling to feel like it's Christmas? Nonetheless, I am happily engaged in quality time spent with family and friends.

faithful.

It is in my nature to approach situations with the mentality that I want to do and be the best that I can be. The unfortunate downside to this is the stress that somehow seems to always slip in, when I'd rather it not be there. In the end everything always turns out more than ok, and the same words always glow in my mind like a neon sign reading, "I didn't need to stress out about that." Praise God that He loves us unconditionally, even when we are led to worry, rather than fully entrusting every aspect of our lives to Him.

Over the past couple of years I have become acutely aware of God's faithfulness to me. I see his faithfulness right now, especially with regard to this past quarter. Practically confined to my desk and my bed, I wrote an unending stream of papers and read thousands upon thousands of insipid words. Convinced my gpa was going to plummet (and trust me, I had many legitimate reasons to believe that), I have been surprisingly corrected. In fact, I did very well! My quarter was not wasted to nothing. I didn't need to be so stressed. Lord, you are faithful! There is a plan for my life that isn't my own, and praise the Lord for that!

Call to Me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things which you do not know. - Jeremiah 33:3

At Last

After a jaunt to glassybaby, two mutually exhausted and unshowered friends began the trek northward. They braved dangerous feats of early morning physical exertion. Glassy-eyed, they lugged giant overpacked bins down the narrow hallways and stairwells of a silent and nearly deserted house. They heaved load upon load into the back end of an SUV, successfully reaching its maximum capacity. These are the same girls who manually pushed a car up an incline this fall, twice (boys, take note). With an estimated couple hundred pounds of textile in tow they ventured home toward glistening snow-capped mountains, clear blue skies and sunshine paving the way.

 And now I'm home. After an academically challenging and mentally tiring autumn quarter, I can look forward to 17 days of whatever my heart desires. It will include, at minimum, 8 full hours of sleep each night, reading for pleasure (The Hare With Amber Eyes and Anne of Green Gables), at least one movie per day, bowl games, sibling baking and art projects, Christmas crooners, child labor exploitation with hair stylings and massages courtesy of my sister, and a few Christmas parties sprinkled in. Let it commence! 

To Cease The Rumbling

Rule number one of grocery shopping is never go shopping on an empty stomach. Ok, so I drank a glass of milk to tide me over until I could make something worth eating. But Trader Joe's, you get me every time. I always want to buy tons of things a single girl simply won't have time to eat without letting it go bad first or sit around uneaten forever, and that's just a shame! I'm going home in a week for Christmas break and therefore had to beat down images of smoked gouda and tomato grilled cheese, which would surely rot over the course of two weeks in my fridge at school. Alas, this is what I came home with, but hey, I'm not complaining!

-organic lentil soup

-diced green chiles

-a darling little jar of capers

-crunchy peanut butter

-fuji apples

-beautiful little heirloom tomatoes

-a beefsteak tomato

-a lime

-petite peas

-organic fusilli pasta

-fresh goat cheese and sundried tomato ravioli

-chile and lime chicken burgers

-mini bag of dark chocolate peanut butter cups

-an adorable wedding card

Glass

What a fascinating medium...