Question. What is it about weddings that makes the most unlikely male candidates think they have a shot with ladies of prime real estate? Mind you, the wedding was dry, so alcohol was not the culprit in bringing forth these lofty notions. And although slacks, a button up shirt, and tie admittedly from the female perspective make any man more handsome, the majority of us (hopefully) are not about to have the wool pulled over our eyes and swoon over anyone who shows interest in us (no matter how flattered we feel deep down).
Mom & me at my cousin's wedding
Now.....onto another quality besides blatant physical attraction that reels in the opposite sex. They've been saying it since probably the beginning of time: the way to a man's heart is though his stomach. Not gonna lie, I firmly believe there is a surefire way to impress a boy. Baking. Have you ever heard of a boy turning down a chocolate chip cookie? No. A brownie (even if it came from a box!)? Doubt it! And those are only the base level goodies. I mean, good grief, I had a boy ask me to make him an entire pie recently, and stated his preferences! That was a just bit presumptuous on his part, and needless to say, he did not last long. (Sidenote: more on how to impress a boy with baking can be found in the wit and genius of Joy the Baker.) Some guys are getting a little too picky if you ask me. My brother turned down my double chocolate zucchini bread, which is more moist and chocolately divine than should be legal. Imagine Brucey in Matilda turning down that tri-layer chocolate cake. I know, right? It just doesn't happen!
"You can do it Brucey!" C'mon, I know you're chanting his name in your head right now. It's only natural.
Even though the focus of my words thus far have been regarding boys, I have to admit something to you. I have no boy I am attempting to satiate the appetite of. I'm not even trying to lure one in. All I care about is satisfying my own palette, and recently on my days off from work I've been doing it on my parents' dime. Don't worry. This isn't unethical, and I'm not cheating anyone out of any hard-earned wages or anything. My family has been getting nutritious, home-cooked meals, and to the satisfaction of my mother, she doesn't have to lift a finger. Meanwhile, I get (strange) pleasure out of boiling water, chopping up garlic, herbs, and vegetables, and hearing the sizzle on a hot pan. It's therapeutic. Whatever works! Aside from what lies below, I swear my life doesn't revolve purely around grains and pastas. This was merely a (delicious) coincidence!
Sometimes there is cheating, like these MorningStar chipotle black bean burgers topped with roasted red bell peppers, and a side of corn on the cob.
Other times the single most important rule of college cooking is put into place: take everything you've got, throw it together in a bowl, add some spices, and voila! you have dinner (and lunch for two days). Here, I combined couscous, pan-cooked chicken breast, zucchini, spinach, black olives, sundried tomatoes, peas, and oregano, and lightly dressed it with a red wine vinaigrette.
A lot of times I like to eat vegetables. They make me feel good. I also like to feed them to my family by making healthy alternatives to old heavy classics, like the stuffed bell pepper. These couscous, veggie and feta stuffed bell peppers are fantastic.
At any time, I can count on pleasing my family, particularly my mom, with this Mediterranean salad. Every time my mom or I think or speak of olives, which is more frequent than you might imagine, we quote Sense and Sensibility's Mrs. Jennings, who trying to console the heartbroken and sobbing Marianne asks Elinor, "Does she care for olives?" So besides this having kalamata olives in it, which in itself should make any person want to dive right in, this is the perfect light, summer salad. It's fresh and flavorful, and stirs up mental images of the glittering turquoise waters of Greece.
And for something I could eat all the time, (but choose not to for reasons of fearing putting a hole in my wallet) pad Thai. Except this pad Thai isn't overly salty, doesn't have any trace of suspicious orange oil lurking at the bottom of the styrofoam takeout box, doesn't gift me with a giant mass sitting in my stomach after consuming, tastes very fresh, and is incredibly inexpensive to make. I hope you got all that! This is life-changing stuff! Try it, and I promise you'll feel accomplished in your culinary endeavors. Finding oyster sauce in your hair hours after cooking means you worked hard. I can personally attest to that.
Keep calm, mince garlic with your bare and now garlicky-scented hands, eat slowly the fruits of your labor, let Dad do the cleanup, take an evening walk for both digestion and the view, and then plop yourself down on the couch for the rest of the night for some terribly-narrated Olympic competition viewing. Maybe pop a handful of blueberries picked from the yard to soften the blow of teenage dreams being crushed by the high beam and uneven bars (...and on an international viewing level too...ouch).
